In The Night Garden...

Awww Caitie bell is so so excited must admit so am I...

Auntie Angie (Stu's brother's wife) loves entering comps She found one to do with In The Night Garden, Caitie loves ITNG Hasbro PlaySkool are launching a new range of ITNG toys, any way they are doing an ITNG event to mark it.

The event is a ride on a Ninky Nonk theamed steam train, a picnic, supprises & goodies along with some of the new range toys, Anyway Auntie Angie won it for Caitie, So on Monday we are going to the Event.. Caitie is beside herself with excitement! I'll e sure to take my camera and get lots of photo's so watch this space for them on tues hopefully! xo

School report time.....

It's that time of year when we get the school reports, a time that parents look forward to and dread as well.
Both Bradley and Caitlin have done really well this year I am so pleased.

Caities Report from Playgroup

Personal Social and Emotional development - Caitlin is a very confident happy child who has made good relationships with both children and adults. She is a polite well behaved child who is always chatty and willing to help the other children in the setting. She enjoys talking about her older brother!

Communication, language and literacy - Caitlin has good knowledge of volcabulary and talks very clearly, she can express a range of feelings. She can write her name and makes good attempts at familiar words. Caitlin enjoys looking at books and being read to by members of staff

Mathematical Development - Caitlin can count to 20 by rote and joins in counting games & songs. She has knowledge of mathematical language i.e bigger, smaller, behind, in front. and uses pattern sequencing. Caitlin can identify and name shapes & knows her colours well.

Knowledge and understanding of the world - Caitlin is aware of timeline i.e yesterday, today, tommorrow. and is enthusiastic about topics at playgroup especially contrubuting to the show and tell box. Caitlin talks freely about events in her own life.

Physical Development - Caitlin conducts herself well during physical play and is always aware of her surroundings she has good fine and gross motor skills and can use equipment appropratly.

Creative Development - Caitlin really enjoys all creative work and is always proud of her achievements. She likes to explore using diffrent tools and materials. Her imagination is excellent and she likes to dress up and play in the home corner or outdoors with the prams.

Supervisor/Key Worker comments - Caitlin is a very chatty friendly child who loves to help both other children and staff. She is very confident and always willing to try out new things. She is very popular and we will miss her in the setting we wish her well at nursery.

What a fab report for my princess!

Bradley's year 4 report.

Physical Education - Bradley enjoys many aspects of P.E and is acquring skills across a range of games. He is gaining in confidance and participates well in team games. Bradley's swimming skills are growing along with his confidence.

Art and Design - Bradley is developing good observational drawing skills. He can work imaginativly and effectively with a range of media such as oil pastels, pencil and chalk. Bradley has also explored a variety of materials in design and technolegy. He must take more time to plan and build his design in order to produce a well finished product.

Music - Bradley particapates well in music, though he can sometimes be a little silly and distract those around him. He has contrubuted to class performances and responds sensitively to music. Bradley has composed a clapping rap, adding musical instruments and his own lyics.

Religious Education - Bradley has an appreciation of a range of faiths and shows tolerance to others choices. He has good understanding of other religions such as judaism and Christianity, and is able to express his view sensitively.

History - Bradley has a good understanding of the Roman, Saxon and Viking periods, and has researched infomation about this time on the internet. He took part in a Roman day and lernt about life in Roman times.

Geography - Bradley demonstrates good map and research skills, which he put to good effort when comparing the local area. He has an understanding of the enviroment and has also shown a keen intrest in learing a new language.

ITC- Bradley can use a range of programmes confidently. He has conducted internet research, downloading images to enhance word processing and created a database. Bradley has also used ITC to present work across the curriculum.

PHSE - Bradley has learnt how to deal with a range of situations, in and outside school, such as responsibilities and how changes affect us. Bradley has delt with these situations with sensitivity.

Accademic Record - Reading 4B Writting 2A Maths 3B Science 3B

General Comment - Bradley has shown a great deal of progression in mathmatics this year, this is obviously the subject he enjoys the most. He has achieved an average standard in all other areas of the curriculum. Bradley has the ability to succeed even more, if he puts in the dedication and effort. Bradley is on School Action Plus due to his sometimes, inappropriate behaviour; He can often be silly and distract those around him. Bradley needs to become more self motivated in order to achieve the levels he deserves next year.

Bradley is a pleasent, cheerful and lively boy. He still needs to grow in maturity as he is still unable to do responsible jobs sensibly. Bradley is always enthusiastic and contributes to class activities.

Well done Bradley!

I've Been....

A bad blogger! Life just has gotton in the way of things.
I am hoping although I can't promise anything to be back tom to do a huge update, but quickly before I head off to bed the main points since I last blogged are.

• Scarlett is now 14 weeks old! (where on earth has the time gone!)
• Bradley had his 9th Birthday.
• We sadley had to put our puppy honey to sleep :*(
• Caitie has gotton into the nursery I wanted her in.

I am gonna do the best I can and get back tom to post and try to post at least once a week if not everyday, but knowing me!

Remembering.....

My beautiful little girl Georgina Elizabeth Rosina who gained wings of gold 7 years ago on 10th April.

I miss you with every beat of my heart.

I will be back later to post some more as it is difficult to type and feed Scarlett at the same time.

She Is Here!!!!

Piccy Of Scarlett aged 5 days.

Scarlett Elizabeth Anne Dowling
Birth Story
Friday 27th March 2009 12:38 6lb 3oz

The night before Brian & Danilie picked Bradley and Caitlin up as they were having them for the duration of me being in hospital having the baby. Myself and Stu decided as it was the last time in a long long time we would be childless to go for a meal to our fav restaurant the Brazilian in the O2 – Que lots of questions “How long do you have left?” I think we shocked them when we said that the baby would be born the following day. Myself and Stu had a lovely time talking although I found it very difficult to eat as I was feeling nervous and due to how the baby was laying was feeling very fall very quickly. We went up to pay for our meal and the manager asked us how it was “lovely as usual” was the reply. Again he asked when the baby was due, when we told him that she would be arriving the following day, he took nearly £15 off our bill.

After the meal we headed home – got home around 11pm. I took the 1st of the medications I was told to take and it was off to bed for both me and Stu. I actually managed to get a fairly decent sleep apart from waking to go to the loo several times. One good thing though the heart burn didn’t wake me like it normally did., must have been due to the medication,

We got up at approx 5:30am, I took the 2nd dose of medication at 6am along with the single dose of another medication that I had to take. I was absolutely desperate for a cup of coffee but couldn’t have one.

We left home at 6am for the drive to the hospital. We were ment to be there for 8am but because we were going into London we thought traffic might have been bad but it was relatively clear so we arrived at 7am! Having some time to kill we went to the cafe at the hospital Stuart wanted a cup of coffee but they didn’t open until 7:30 so we went for a wander near the river. I spoke to Stu about my fears for the section. I don’t know why but I was scared more so than with any of the others.

7:45 we went to the Birth Centre and booked in with the receptionist who told us that they were in the middle of hand over so we would have to wait. 8:15 the receptionist called the midwives to remind them we were there, still no one came out to get us. 8:30 she called again. 8:45 finally the midwife Amy came out and took us to room 16. Several Dr’s came in to see us and go over my notes and what had happened at my previous sections. The anasetits came in to see us to go over what would happen. A lady doing research for Tommy’s came in and asked if I would consent to a biopsy I think that’s what it’s called of my womb a small piece of my womb being taken to help Tommy’s with their research into prem labours. Seeing as I was being sterilised at the same time as the section and won’t actually need my womb again to carry a child I agreed to it. Amy then did my obs and put me on the CTG machine the last time I would hear any child in my wombs heartbeat. Such a magical sound. Funny thing was I had to hold the pads onto my tummy as she didn’t have any straps to hold them on with. She got Stu the lovely hospital scrubs a beautiful pinky red colour Stu got changed into them and boy did he look fetching. We then just had to wait and wait and wait to be called into theatre.

11:30am – the Dr’s came back and said we are ready for you now. Stu had to wait in the room while I walked down to theatre 1. Something that I was not expecting that Stu would not be with me the whole time. Into the theatre I went where there were several people milling around. Up onto the operating table I got while the anistist well 3 anisitist tried to get a canular into my arm boy it hurt I don’t have the best veins and was pricked several times in several places to try and get one in me. Originally they wanted me to have 2 just in case but because it was so difficult to get just the one in me they left it at that. I have to admit I did swear a few times as it hurt and kept apologising for swearing, I kept asking for Stu to be brought in as I was scared and was sure that it wasn’t helping. The anisitists kept telling me off because they would get a vein up and it would disappear as soon as the needle went anywhere near it. I said several times that “I am not having any more” “ I am Never doing this again!!” At some point during all this Stu was brought in and sat at the head end of the operating table.

Next came the spinal block/epidural I laid on the operating table and was told not to move while they did it, which was really difficult as the baby was moving at the time. Spinal was in at 12:12 and my whole body started to feel strange, I was then rolled onto my back and the table was tilted to the left. I was shaking all over and my teeth were chattering, the anisitist explained to me that it was due to the spinal and my body losing heat, I can’t actually remember the whole explanation but it made sense at the time and reassured me that it was ok and normal. If I remembered rightly the same thing happened at Geogina’s and Caitlin’s sections. I had several bags of fluid going into me. I was trying to hold Stu’s hand but he was too far away for me to be able to. I remember talking to him but not what I spoke about. I was just too nervous and scared, but just hearing his voice reassured me that it would all be fine. I remember asking if they had started yet and they just had.

Several minutes later I felt the tugging and pulling in my tummy – it’s a very very strange feeling like someone doing the washing up in my tummy. All the staff in the theatre were fab they were explaining things as they happened and in a way that we could understand. Then someone put lots of pressure on my ribs so they could pull the baby out. They lowered the drape as we had requested for the moment of birth although I couldn’t see anything Stu could! I then heard her cry for the 1st time, amazing she let out a little cry and a few seconds later a huge cry. I almost burst into tears hearing that. She was then placed straight on my chest. That’s never happened before. I had a quick peek to make sure she was a girl. All my babies have been taken and cleaned up a little 1st and then given to my birth partner so I never got to give the 1st cuddle it was amazing being able to do that. She was covered in vernix She cried and cried though. Amy then took her off me so she could be weighed and checked over. Her apgars were 9 and 10! She weighed in at 2.88kg/ 6lb 3oz.

The section from start to getting her out took 7 minutes! The shortest yet I think. I can’t remember much else from being in theatre to be honest from the second she was born all I was interested in was the baby. We were taken back to room 16 where Scarlett had her 1st breast feed and myself and Stu got to know our new daughter

Midwife appointment... Worried

Off we went in the rain to see the midwife... GRRRRR

The clinic was running 2 hours behind and no one bothered to let us know I had both Bradley and Caitlin with me they were bored silly but actually for once were both really good. Yet again I saw the dippy midwife who was more intrested in my 3 year old than answering any questions I have. I am really annoyed with her as well, again she started going on about me having 3 children including Scarlett, this was while she was reading my notes where it says how many pregnancies and live births you have had, Yet again I had to correct her I have had 3 live births so far! and I had to correct her several times on this dispite the fact that she was and had read my notes on it!

Anyway she meaured my bump didn't tell me the measurement just said baby is growing well, When I read my notes on the way home I am measuring at 29 weeks bump has only grown 2cm in around 6 weeks! I am now 31 almost 32!! My dd2 stopped growing at 32 weeks (scan at 32 weeks then scan at 36 weeks and she had not grown a bit at all from each one so was born at 36 weeks as they thought my placenta was faling which it turned out it was... Placenta acreca the placenta was attached through my womb to my bladder!) my dd1 had problems with her growth from 23 weeks. The fundal height mesurement is normally my 1st sign that somthing is going wrong with babes growth, I do have a growth scan on Friday and am seeing the consultant on monday so I am hoping to have a clearer answer then. I'm so hoping that she didn't say anything coz of the scan on friday and seeing the consultant on monday but still leaving me to read my own notes like this is not fair! Last time I saw the consultant she wasn't sure I was going to go past 36 weeks I'm worried.

30 Weeks

I am 30 weeks pregnant today! 9 weeks till our section date, Count down really has begun. I can't wait to meet little miss but on the other hand I am terrified about having a newborn in the house again.

Waiting on our new bed being delivered today, hopefully once the room it's gonna be going in is finished in the next week or so I hope I will be able to get a decent nights sleep, but I very much doubt that, little miss keeps waking me up, I just can't get comftable anymore.

Exciting News I Can Share Now....

Don't know if an of you know about Newsround? A childrens news program on BBC. Bradley likes watching the news sometimes and we were watching Newsround before xmas. They asked for children to get in touch who have lost some one, Bradley has lost his sister, his dad and his nanna, as they are doing a special report on breavement in children and how they cope etc. Bradley decided that he wanted to e-mail them and "tell" his story so he could help othr children, so with my help he contacted them and wrote quite a bit of what has happened, how he feels etc They called me a few days later as I had to give permission etc.

Just after xmas a member of the team came out to the house and did a filmed interview with Bradley to see how he would cope and he did beautifully what he looked like on screen etc. They are looking for 4 children from all over the country 1 who has lost a Mum 1 a Dad 1 a Sibling and 1 a Grandparent. Bradley has lost 3 out of the 4!! They want to concentrate on his dad tho as he was to young with his sister and there were some problems with his nanna.

Several phone calls later from them keeping me upto date with what they are doing I got a call about an hour ago they would like to use Bradley for the actual report!! It means 2 days off school 1 day filming at home and the other filming in London. I am now waiting on an email from them as we have to get a preforming licence for Bradley to be able to do it and I have a couple of forms to fill in. Ekkkkkk he is going to be so happy he has been chosen to do this. I can't wait to pick him up from school to let him know lol all week he has been asking if they have phoned yet.
He is still having therapy and I spoke to his theripist and she thinks that it will be fantastic for him as he wants to do it and helping other children is a big thing for him wow!

Changes..

Finally had a little time to work on a new background and header etc.
Credits Kirsty I'll Love You Forever kit.
I'll hopefully be back tom with an update on Our Family but at the moment I am so so tired I'm struggling to keep my eyes open after 6pm.

Pregnancy Update.....

I really must change this background, I'm not sure I like it anymore.. Will have to work on something else later over the weekend hopefully.
We don't have the kids this weekend and are going to a wedding tom hummm maybe sometime on sunday then,

I had an appointment monday with an anesitist (sp) as I am having Scarlett by planned section due to having 3 previous sections so this will be my 4th, I had some questions about Caitie's section and as I have a curve in my spine - the reason I was given for not being able to progress further than 3cm dilated with Bradley after 44 hours of labour!
Due to the curve and where it is it's hard to get the spinal block in place where it is ment to go Hope that made some sense? So wanted to talk it over with them also due to the complacations with Caitie Placenta was attached to my bladder. He told me that if I go into labour then they will do a crash section under GA but coz I had an allergic reaction to a GA when i was 7 that I would have to have a special GA coz if I had a normal GA it could lead to both mine and Scarlett's death something about smelly gasses and mussle relaxant that they use that I can't have. He really really scared me. He has written all over my notes about it that if a GA is needed then to treat is as HM or AH can't quite make out his writting. I so do not want a GA.
He has also told me that the section could take up to 2 hours! due to the scar tissue etc and the problems they are antisipating. Caities section took 45 mins from the 1st cut to getting her out then about 30 mins to close me up. I was worried about having a 4th section now i'm flaming terrified.
Then went up to see the midwife who was about as usefull as a chocolate teapot! Did't really answer any of my questions was more intrested in playing with Caitie who was with us. Although she has refured me to physio at last due to the curve in my spine and the amount of pain i am in with it.
The only good thing that happened Monday for the 1st time ever on the way home on the tube some one actually gave up their seat for me. Might have something to do with the fact tho that I was crying in pain from my back.



I had our 28 week growth scan Weds, along with my anti d OUCHH it hurt more than the claxine jabs and I thought they were bad enough.
Little miss Scarlett has grown yeahhh she has put on approx 11 oz in 2 weeks, now weighes and estimated 2lb9oz. So she has been a good girl in that respect but was a naughty girl that she wouldn't let us see her face, she was perfectly happy to flash her lady hamburger bits at us and I have a lovely pic of that but not her face. Found out why I am possibly haveing so many problems with my hips as well. Little miss has decided to get comfie and wedged herself in my pelvis she is head down with her hands at her head. Her body is wound round my right side as I thought and her feet are under my left ribs which is right where my stomach is will also possibly explaine why I have started being sick again. Was so funny due to the APS they have to do a bloodflow check as well Everytime he tried to get it little miss decided to kick her cord as though it was in her way so we had to start again. I so cannot wait to meet my little madam. Next scan 13th Feb I think. it's in my notes somewhere.

I am 29 weeks today eeeeekkkkkk we only have a maximum of 10 weeks left til we meet little miss!!! I am panicking now

Layout share...

I know I know I said I would be back with some exciting news but.. I'm not sure I can share just yet :( I won't know more til Feb so will have to wait till then,

Today I have an appointment with the Anestiesits (sp) and then the midwife, the Anesitist is to talk about when I have Scarlett and the spinal I will be having. Due to a curve in my spine I have had to have the epi/spinal block up higher then a "Normal" Person. Lets hope todays appointment gose ok and little miss Scarlett behaves and has grown etc.

Anyway I wanted to share a couple of layouts I have done using Kirsty's kits.

1st one is from a kit called "I've been waiting all Year" Click on it to see it full size .
Photo is of Bradley and Caitlin Xmas eve 2008

The 2nd one is using a Kit called "I'll Love You Forever" Click on it to see it full size.
PHoto's are from mine and Stuarts Engaement Party 14th July 2008

Ear Infection....

Oh the joy, Bradley has yet another ear infection so is off school.

I had to cancell my appointment yesterday there was no way I could travel to london with him. We've re-booked it for 3rd Febuary.

There will be a bit of exciting news later so I will be back tonight.

Pregnancy update..

Right I did say I would be back to update on the pregnancy.

I had a midwife appointment about 2 weeks ago and she looked over the results from the scan I had a week or so before that, she wasn't happy witht he results so wanted me to see my consultant, I got booked in for a week later.

5th January 09

Saw a diffrent consultant to my named one, although she is part of the same high risk team, those who deal with the APS/Lupus ladies like myself. She was absolutly fantastic spent well over an hour with us dispite the fact that clinic was running over an hour late. She explained things to us that have never been explained before and didn't make us feel stupid for asking questions that we thought might be a bit funny.

She had a look at my scan results and explained the problem with them. My untrine pressures are too high meaning that Scarlett isn't getting enough blood flow, which can lead to pre-e, which I am already high risk for due to the APS so I now have a double risk :( She dosn't think I will delvelop pre-e coz I never have before and my BP is low rather than high no protine in urine etc. The other complication with the pressures is growth retardation which can lead to many many problems all my babies have had this in some form the biggest being Bradley at 6lb 7oz and the smallest Georgina at just 4lb 11oz. It looks as though Scarlett is going to be small, how small as of yet we don't know. The consultant sent me to the day assesment unit to be monitored and arranged another growth scan to check little miss and to also check the pressures again. The aim now is to get me to 36 weeks and any day after that is a bounus we are keeping the section dated booked for now at 3rd April because ideally we want to get there rather than have Scarlett to early, but she could decide to play about and not grow and come at any time. The consultants words were we are going to have to take this scan by scan appointment by appointment and play it by ear.

7th January 09

Scan day - had a growth and doppler scan today good news baby Scarlett has decided to grow, she now weighs approx 1lb 14oz which is a fab weight for her gestation of 26 weeks and 5 days. The pressures have come down as well and fingers crossed they stay down but it is still a waiting game appointment by appointment scan by scan. The next scan is for 19th January 09

I have a appointment with the Lupus clinic tommorow afternoon so we wil see what they say. I am currently on 60mg of Claxine everyday the normal dose for pregnancy is 40mg but as Dr Hunt said 40 mg made no diffrence when I was pregnant with Caitie. She was born at 36 weeks after stopping growing at 32 weeks weighing 5lb 4oz so we will see if the extra 20mg makes much diffrence. I'm not sure it is but we will see.

Hummmm Me thinks I need to play around in PSP a little bit more and try and get the sizes right with fonts and margins hummm

Oh well not got time now so this willl have to do till I get time, off to do some well over due housework *Rolls eyes*

Not sure....

huummm not sure if I like this very much but it's livable for the time being.

Just a very quick post till later to check to see if this thing works properly

Time for change....

.. I'm gonna spend some of today trying to figure out how to pretty this blog up a little.

I will be back later with some news on Scarlett and the pregnancy - Things are not going to plan at the moment.

Goodbye 2008.... Hello 2009.......

2008 a good year for me in many ways - I met Stuart, Fell in love something I thought would never happen again. Fell pregnant with Scarlett :)

2009 is going to be a better year dispite all that - Mine and Stuart's wedding in a few weeks time. The birth of Scarlett in 13 weeks time..... Bring it on.

Hope what ever and where ever you are that 2009 brings you happiness, love and health.